Recruiting Visits: What Parents Should—and Shouldn’t—Do

Dear Coach Bryant:

My son is a junior baseball player, and we’re about to take our very first college visit. He’s eager to tour the school, meet the team, sit down with the coach and see the field. I’m excited too, but I’m not sure what my role should be during the visit. Should I plan to join him in the coach’s office? Are there questions I should be asking, or is this really all on him?

Unsure in Utica

Dear Unsure:

That first recruiting visit is a big moment—for both the athlete and the parent. Parents naturally want to help their child make a good impression, but the best way to support them is by knowing when to step back and let them take the lead.

Help your child prepare.

Before you ever set foot on campus, take a little time to role-play what that meeting with the coach might be like. Run through a mock interview so your son can practice responding clearly and confidently to common questions like “What are you looking for in a college program?” or “Why are you interested in our program?” Encourage him to jot down a few questions of his own—about team culture, training, academic support, or travel expectations. This small bit of preparation will help him walk into the meeting feeling composed and ready to engage.

On visit day, be the chauffeur—and that’s about it.

Drive your child to campus, give them a pep talk, but once you arrive, let them handle the visit. If a coach invites you into their office to meet together, join politely, but don’t assume you’re included. The meeting is meant for the student-athlete to start building a relationship with the coach—not for the parent to take over the conversation.

Let your child be the voice.

When coaches ask questions, resist the urge to jump in, even if you know the answer. Coaches want to see how your child communicates, handles nerves, and shows maturity. If you are part of the conversation, keep your responses brief and redirect questions back to your son. Those small moments of independence tell coaches a lot about his readiness for college athletics.

Ask only what’s yours to ask.

There are appropriate times for a parent to speak up, especially around finances. Asking about merit aid, financial aid, athletic scholarships, NIL, or revenue-sharing is entirely fair—just be sure the school actually offers those opportunities before bringing them up (for example, Division III institutions do not offer any athletic aid). Coaches also remember when parents ask thoughtful, personal or holistic questions: “How do you balance family life with coaching?” or “How do you support players’ academic and emotional well-being?” Those kinds of questions show you value the bigger picture.

The Reality

College visits are your child’s opportunity to connect, communicate, and grow. They’re also your chance to model trust and restraint. When you take a backseat—literally and figuratively—you send a message of confidence in your child and respect for the process. Coaches notice when parents know their role, and they appreciate it.

Best,

Amy